What's it all about?

As I’ve learned by now, I am rather skilled at hiding my feelings. See the things with feelings is that it has this quiet way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it to. You know what I mean?

Yeah… but who would have thought that with this, after all the brashness and cocksure posturing, the one I let my guard down with is the knockout punch.
Ironic… it’s a calendar word…

I always warn them from the beginning… along the lines of… I must advise you, I am stamped with an invisible warning, will not commit, will never rise above… despite my best efforts I’m beginning to feel some small cracks in my faux finish…

You know when I look back on my little life, and all the things I’ve done, I can’t help but think about all that other people have done for me, and how little I’ve done for them. How they’ve looked after me, cared for me, and I’ve repaid them by never returning the favour…
Yeah…I used to think that I had the best end of the deal…

What have I got? Really?

Some money in my pocket, some nice threads, fancy-ish car at my disposal, and I’m decidedly un-single… attached, yet free as a bird….

I’d like to think that I depend on nobody… nobody depends on me… my life’s my own, but I don’t have peace of mind…and if you don’t have that, you don’t have anything…
So what’s the answer, that’s what I keep asking myself…?
What’s it all about?